Groom invites a group of old friends, including his ex-girlfriend, to his wedding, the ex is acting weird towards the bride, so she wants to uninvite her: 'I didn't realize she was a recent ex rather than a distant high school ex.'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 17, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Maybe don't marry someone you don't know how to communicate with.

Seeing couples have extreme communication issues is not news. What is it with people and their lack of communication skills? They all love to talk people's ears off till it has to be about something important. Maybe talk less about what happened on the TikTok video you saw and more about how bothered you are with your couple's attitude. Being a grown-up involves having all the uncomfortable conversations you would rather avoid. You can't do that anymore. As an adult, you have to take responsibility for your relationships and your feelings and manage them appropriately. There is no reason to avoid talking to somebody, especially if you are going to marry them, as the person from the story below. If you have problems with someone, own it, make yourself responsible, and deal with them in an appropriate manner to fix it.

What is sad about this story is that it's showcasing something extremely common. The people who lie to avoid an issue instead of talking openly about it. It always goes worse than it would have if they were open about it in the first place. And with this, I'm not saying that just because you are honest, the other person is not going to get mad at you. They will. But they will be mad just because of that. If you first hide the reason and then they discover it anyway, then they will be mad about two things: about the thing in particular and about the lie to hide it. This is relationship 101: don't hide the bad things. Be honest. They are going to find it out sooner or later.

I really believe that if you are not comfortable enough to tell your fiancé the truth about something, you shouldn't be marrying them. This also applies to the fact of not being able to communicate how something makes you feel and wanting to do things behind their back to avoid having a hard conversation. Maybe don't marry someone you are not comfortable enough with. Whether if this situations are due to a lack of response from the other person or fear of breaking up, you need to end things. Couples are based on honesty, or at least they should be. Hiding things will only make things worse. So maybe really think about it before marrying someone. 

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  • 01
    My (28F) fiancé (27M) and I are getting married this October. We've been dating for 3 years and engaged since last year. A couple of months back, when we were finalizing our invite list, my fiancé asked me if it would be okay for him to invite his ex. My first reaction was "ohh I nah," but I asked him what he meant. He told me they were part of the same high school friend group and that this would be their first full reunion since back then (we're having a destination wedding in his home country
    via Dangerous_Rip5083
  • 02
    A couple getting married with palm trees surrounding them. Scene shown is a visual representation.
    via Christian Diaz

    A couple getting married with palm trees surrounding them.

    Scene shown is a visual representation.

  • 03
    Two days ago, the whole friend group was on a video call chatting about their travel plans. I popped in to say hi briefly and noticed that one of the girls didn't seem very happy to see me (think smiling and taking a vodka shot at the same time). I clocked it right away and later mentioned to my fiancé, "She still seems hung up on high school." He casually replied, "Oh, that's [Name] from [Place]." Turns out, she's actually his most recent ex before me. They officially broke up only a year befor
    via Dangerous_Rip5083
  • 04
    make matters worse, as far as I know, they only broke up because of distance (they were long-distance the entire time), so I feel like she's probably still harboring some "what if" feelings. I want him to uninvite her since I didn't realize she was a recent ex rather than a distant high school ex. However, he's refusing. He says she already booked her flights and accommodations, and uninviting her now would cause major drama in his friend group and with his family (since their families are close
    via Dangerous_Rip5083
  • 05
    A wedding arrangement made with flowers.
    via Samantha Gades

    A wedding arrangement made with flowers. 

  • 06
    annang If you can't have this conversation with him and come to an agreement peacefully, you shouldn't get married. Don't marry someone you feel the need to lie to. It's not going to get better.
    via annang
  • 07
    Ok_Albatross8909 Yes, YWBTAH. Your partner gained your agreement by giving you a part-truth. When you were uncomfortable when you got the full truth and more information regarding her attitude towards you - he prioritised her feelings and his friend's perceptions of him over you. The person he's marrying. He even twisted this to be your fault for initially agreeing. It's not. It is his fault he failed to give you the whole context. Best case scenario, he's still an inconsiderate bad communicator
    via Ok_Albatross8909
  • 08
    This does not mean you get to go behind his back and disinvite her. That is avoiding the real problem, and at a bare minimum it's not how healthy relationships work. You don't have to marry this man just because you've planned the wedding.
    via Ok_Albatross8909
  • 09
    not-the-name-i-chose YWBTAH.... BUT this isn't an invite issue, this is a fiancé issue. He lied about his past with her (yes, neglecting important information is lying). And he's more concerned about his friend group than his fiancé. I'd be looking back at my whole relationship and wondering when/why he puts everyone else's feelings in front of my own. You deserve better than this.
    via not--name--chose
  • 10
    Board Prestigious35 YWBTA, she isn't the problem, he is. He's omitting important truths and wants her there even though his bride does not. Really weird he wants his most recent ex at his wedding so badly. Does he want to show her what she missed out on or something?
    via Board Prestigious35
  • 11
    Royal RulerofHearts Honestly, yes, you would be the AH if you secretly uninvited her yourself. But I also understand why you're upset. You agreed to her invitation based on information that turned out to be incomplete. You thought this was some old high-school ex from years ago; you didn't know she was his most recent ex, that they continued seeing each other until shortly before you got together, or that the breakup was essentially because of distance. That's a pretty significant difference. Ho
    via Royal RulerofHearts
  • 12
    difficult situation into a massive trust issue between the two of you. The bigger issue is actually your fiancé's handling of this. He needs to understand why this information changes how you feel and take your concerns seriously rather than hiding behind "but you already said yes." You consented to something based on a misunderstanding. You're allowed to reconsider. I'd tell him very directly: "I'm not comfortable with her attending now that I know the full history. I'm not asking you to preten
    via Royal RulerofHearts
  • 13
    our destination wedding makes me uncomfortable. I agreed because I genuinely believed she was someone from your distant past. That's not what this is. I need us to actually discuss boundaries and whether having her there is worth the impact this is having on me." And I'd pay attention to his response. The important question isn't just whether she attends. It's whether your fiancé can have a mature conversation about boundaries, reassure you without dismissing you, and acknowledge that the circum
    via Royal RulerofHearts
  • 14
    not do that. That's the kind of thing that can explode your wedding, your relationship, and his entire friend group simultaneously. If she ultimately attends, you and your fiancé should have very clear boundaries beforehand. But don't make a unilateral decision about your own wedding behind your future husband's back.
    via Royal RulerofHearts
  • 15
    LittleCats_3 YWBTA to yourself if you marry someone that would lie to you about the nature of a relationship to a woman he's inviting to your wedding. He didn't disclose who the ex really was until you saw her and got the weird vibe. You never would have said yes to the invite if you had the whole picture. After hearing that she's caught up in old high school stuff HE should want to uninvite her too. I would pause the wedding personally. Don't go behind his back and be like him tell him that you
    via LittleCats_3
  • 16
    toomuchsvu The problem is that he lied about their relationship and wanted her to be there with no regard for his future wife's feelings. He's a total scumbag. I wouldn't waste my breath explaining f all to him.
    via toomuchsvu
  • 17
    Sufficient_Song3387 No. I would tell him I was doing it and why. He lied about who she was. She isn't his HS gf. She is someone from 3 yrs ago. The lying to get what he wanted would tick me off. Plus, that he cares more about inconveniencing her than your feelings. He didn't give you a choice to say yes or no based on who she actually was. Now, he is trying to guilt you into giving him his way again. If you don't say no now, he will pull similar manipulative stunts in the future. Edit: BTW I don
    via Sufficient_Song3387

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